Chaos Magic

Often this time of year I have to wonder about Chaos Magic. The earth is trying to wake up while the cover of the snow blanks are doing its best to keep the earth asleep.  The ever present push me, pull me time of the tides of spring approaching.  As those have empathy for this time of year, it's a time of turmoil and stress.  At least if feels like it to me.  At this time, I often feel the need to create, yet when I do, I'm not to happy with it and I take it apart. Much like the blades of grass poking through the snow to get it covered again by a new blanket.  The feeling of defeat is ever present, much like spring is an inevitably, I have the need to press on. It may have something to do with not being able to walk barefoot in the grass, and the cold winters make it hard to ground and center, and not being able to do it for months at a time does take its toll.   This past dark moon I was going to make a post about what to focus on and what to let go. Which never happened because the pull me part was stronger then the push me, that is where the Chaos part comes into play.  The willingness is there the timing was not. Now that I have the time, I feeling the lack of willingness, yet the need and time is there. So here I am, finally being able to talk about it, in a round about way.  I had a lot to say about the Dark Moon, yet now the words are not there. The Chaos must be embraced, and the words that need to be said are going to be there, whether it was planned or not. 

The question I have for you is... Do you feel the same way? How do you deal with the long stretches of winter?